Kindness in the Small Moments

Alexa Brenner DeConne, ​MSW, LCSW

Psychotherapist

Kindness does not always show up as a big, dramatic moment. More often, it lives in the ordinary gestures that weave through our day, the small choices we make that help someone feel seen, supported, or cared for. These moments are easy to overlook, but they are also easy to practice. When we pay attention, we begin to notice just how naturally kindness can be incorporated into our daily routines, not as something scheduled or planned, but as a genuine response to the people around us.

If we take a moment to reflect, we may not realize how often we practice small acts of kindness, even daily. Kindness can show up by checking in on a friend or family member; whether that means sending a message, giving them a call, or offering to do an activity together. It can also show up in the way we listen without planning our response, or in choosing to pause and think before speaking too quickly. 
​
A phrase that often comes to mind, and one I have been using frequently, is “water someone’s flowers, not their weeds.” It is a reminder to focus on people’s strengths and positive qualities rather than their weaknesses or flaws. When we acknowledge what someone is doing well, we help encourage growth, confidence, and connection. This simple shift in perspective can be a powerful and tangible act of kindness.

As we practice kindness toward others, it is equally important to offer that same kindness to ourselves. What happens if we start to perform so many small acts of kindness that we forget how to prioritize ourselves? It is essential that you set boundaries for yourself, recognize when your battery is drained, and know when you cannot give to others. Understand that it is okay to not jump at every opportunity to perform an act of kindness and to release any guilt you may feel about it. Give yourself grace in performing acts of kindness and know your limits. You cannot pour from an empty cup, so know when to practice self-care and fill up your cup.
​
We can never truly know what is going on in someone’s life. Small acts of kindness have the power to brighten someone’s day. You may never know the true impact a seemingly small act can have on someone. Kindness does not need to be grand or receive recognition; it can be small and something shared quietly between you and another person. What are some small ways you can begin to incorporate acts of kindness into your daily routine? 

---

Alexa Brenner DeConne

Author ​Alexa Brenner DeConne, MSW, LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with extensive experience working with children ages 5 and up, teens, young adults, and adults across the lifespan. She creates a therapeutic space where clients can reconnect with their purpose, strength, and resilience. Her approach is collaborative and compassionate, drawing from a range of therapeutic models through a person centered lens while consistently validating and normalizing each client’s feelings. For those seeking a safe and supportive space to grow and heal, Alexa is honored to walk alongside them in their journey.