Finding Trust in Family and School Relationships
Written by Maggie Latta-Milord, LCMHCA, LPSC
Licensed Psychotherapist
Take a moment to think back on your first memories of school - the educators, the classmates, the feel of the environment. When you are a caregiver navigating your own child’s educational experience and your role within it, it matters what emotional weight school carries for you. For some, school may have been a safe place, a setting with trusted peers and adults, where learning was fun and came naturally. For some, it may not have been the uplifting and safe environment for curiosity and learning you deserved.
The family and school partnership is a relationship that has a foundation of trust, communication, and safety. The act of reflecting on our own experiences of school is really important to build awareness of what level of trust we enter that relationship with. When an individual has experienced educational trauma such as bullying, invalidation of how neurodivergence and/or learning disabilities impact learning, inappropriate discipline, or other situations where school was not a place of safety, there is often healing and repair that needs to take place to be able to fully engage with the school community where your child is enrolled. It is important to also recognize community experiences of trauma such as violent events at school(s), school closures, and systemic mismanagement or barriers and how your personal proximity to those traumas may influence the sense of trust you feel with your student’s school. If you recognize that you are entering the relationship with your child’s school with a lower degree of trust, start by identifying one member of the school staff you feel comfortable connecting with to discuss concerns and build from there. If you need support processing your own childhood experiences to be able to be your most successful as a parent/caregiver and advocate for your child, we are glad you are here, please reach out to us, we can support you in that journey.
You are the expert on your student and the best situated to advocate for and champion their success as a student. As you navigate the start of this school year with your student(s) and their individual learning needs, keep these reminders in mind:
Plan your lines of communication. Make sure that you understand the teacher and school’s methods for communication and share your communication needs including language and accessibility needs, time of day needs, and types of communication. Feel free to reach back out if the initial plan needs to shift due to work schedules, phone number changes, or any other factors on your end. When there are experiences that you believe could or are impacting your child’s learning at school or outside of school, reach out to the school so they can be as responsive as possible to your student’s needs. Don’t wait to share a concern.
Be involved. Find what involvement looks like to you and what ways to engage in your child’s school experience are feasible for you within your specific context.. It may be providing consistent learning support at home by promoting attendance with healthy routines and expectations, supporting academics through reading with your child or helping them with homework, or taking time at meal time or during commute to ask your student(s) about their experiences in school. It may be regularly attending caregiver-teacher conferences and school events. For some, it could be volunteering time or resources to school events or organizations.
Collaborate and be solution-focused. Your child’s learning and success is a team sport. Your student, you, and the school staff can work collaboratively to support your student’s specific needs. This valuable team finds the most success when all voices are heard and everyone is working towards a shared goal.
Maggie Latta-Milord, LCMHCA, LPSC is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Associate and North Carolina Licensed School Counselor who works with young clients who are building skills to express and cope with emotions in a healthy way and with adult clients who may not have had a chance to build those skills when they were younger. She believes in a strengths-based approach and working together to co-create the therapeutic experience. Your counseling journey will be about you- your needs, your interests, and your goals. With Maggie, you are welcome to be your full authentic self, mess and all, no apologies.