Many of us are carrying a lot right now.

​Heavy hearts. Big feelings. A mix of sadness, anger, fatigue, and worry... sometimes all at once.

This week, I want to gently invite you to do two simple things.

First, let yourself feel it.
There’s no right way to hold this moment. Cry if you need to. Take a long walk. Light a candle. Hug someone you love. Sit quietly and breathe. Give yourself permission to be human.

Second, remember that you are not alone.
Even in hard seasons, we find each other. We are the helpers: showing up quietly, steadily, imperfectly, and with care.

I’d like to share a song that has been grounding me: Melanie DeMore singing Sending You Light.

Take a few minutes this week to close your eyes and breathe. Let it wash over you.

🎧 https://youtu.be/cIsZuoNFtXg

I’m sending you light, steadiness, and care... for who you are and how you keep showing up, even when it’s hard.

And if this season feels heavier than you can carry alone, know that we are here for you. You don’t have to be in crisis to reach out. Sometimes having a warm, steady, compassionate space just to talk things through can make all the difference. 

​Look for the good. There is always so much good among us.

We will make it through together. Always. 💛

I have always struggled with change. I have heard others tell me—or maybe I’ve told myself—that I hold onto people, roles, and routines longer than I probably should. And yet, I am learning that there’s a deep grief in letting go, especially when what is ending is tied to your identity, your sense of self, and even your emotional landscape. How do you honor the old door while stepping toward the new one? How do you allow excitement for what is ahead while feeling the weight of what is closing?

Life transitions have a way of pulling us into a space that feels both familiar and foreign. There is the ending, the in-between, and the new beginning. Often, we are living in all three at once, standing at the threshold of change. It rarely arrives as a clean break; you can be left anxious, uncomfortable, and uninvited.

The "between" is where that tension lives. It’s the pause between certainty and clarity, the space where we are neither who we were nor fully who we are becoming. It can feel aimless, disorienting, even frightening. And yet, aimlessness is not emptiness; it is a recalibration, a quiet exhale in which the soul is allowed to shift. Here, grief and curiosity coexist, and identity stretches as it reshapes.

​In expressive arts, there’s a term for this kind of slow becoming: poiesis. It means “bringing something into light,” not by force or effort, but by allowing a creation or a new part of the self to emerge. Poiesis honors the process over the product, the unfolding over the outcome. It reminds us that change is not something we push though.  It is something that reveals itself when we acknowledge the “non-doing”—the quiet, unseen work happening beneath the surface. In the in-between, poiesis becomes a guide: an invitation to witness what is forming within us, even before we understand it.

Being in the “between” asks us to surrender the illusion of control. This doesn’t mean giving up; it means allowing uncertainty, grief, and the not-knowing to walk beside you. Time, presence, and permission to sit in this space are the closest thing we have to a remedy. We cannot rush the process. We metabolize endings slowly, through presence, reflection, and a willingness to feel the loss fully while letting the new emerge gently, in its own time.

Each transition carries new roles, new responsibilities, and subtly new identities. The old versions of ourselves do not vanish immediately. They require acknowledgment, mourning, and, eventually, release. Grief does not prevent excitement, and anticipation does not erase grief; they coexist, shaping our emergence into what is next.

Sometimes I remind myself: it’s okay to sit between the old door and the new one. To feel sadness and curiosity at the same time. The “between” is not a detour; it is the path. And sometimes the most courageous act is simply to stand at the threshold, letting “the middle”, “between” or poeisis bring the next version of you to light and trust the quiet tension of change to remake you.

​Before we reach the point of a new year, we go through a holiday season that can hold with it a juxtaposition of emotional extremes. Peace and stress. Togetherness and disconnection. Gratitude and longing. Magic and monotony. Hope and despair. As this season comes to a close, we find ourselves at the start of a brand new year. A time marked, at its worst, by pressure and reinvention and, at its best, by presence, invitation, and reflection.

If you have ever felt overwhelmed by the “new year, new you” approach to new year’s resolutions or by the intensity and energy of those January gym goers, these thoughts on a new year of growth and acceptance are for you. 

Align your growth with your values
What values do you want to focus on in the new year? How can you align growth with those values? Take a moment to consider your answers. Once you identify the values you want to focus on this year, you can identify one small thing that feels doable to increase how that value is living out in your day to day. 

​Examples:

Learn to celebrate incremental success
Be present along the way and celebrate the small moments of growth and learning. Traditional self-improvement culture doesn’t celebrate our existing strengths and values and sets us up for disappointment. As you live towards your intentions this year, find joy and pride in the small successes along the way.

Give yourself an invitation to keep exploring
Set yourself intentions this new year and give those intentions space to live and evolve with you. The process of self-discovery is ongoing. Be sure that your intentions have the flexibility you need for success. For you, the intention may just be a word, like “connect” or “ask” that holds a deeper meaning for you in your relational, personal, or professional goals. Or, it may work for you to set more specific intentions that allow you to identify small points of change or growth. 

​As the daylight shortens and we transition into a quieter, darker season, our bodies and minds naturally respond. Our nervous systems, emotions, and energy follow natural rhythms: day and night, activity and rest, movement and recovery. As the world slows down, it’s normal for mood and motivation to shift as well. Winter invites us to align with this gentler pace, honoring the body’s need for restoration and reflection.

And yet, when our energy drops or our thoughts darken, it can feel unsettling for anyone who has felt the weight of winter before. In those moments, we can pause and acknowledge that while challenges may arise, they do not define us. We can lean into the season’s rhythm without letting old fears or negativity take control.  Here are 5 gentle ways to stay connected and grounded while nurturing your body and mind through winter’s quieter rhythm.

​Tip 1: Embracing Hygge
Hygge (pronounced HOO-guh) is a Danish concept that reflects a sense of coziness, comfort, and contentment. Winter is the perfect season to lean into this mindset with your coziest blankets, warm beverages, and screen-free evenings. One of the easiest ways to create hygge at home is by using candles (flameless work just as well), soft ambient lighting, and white holiday lights. Bringing light indoors can help support mood when it’s dark outside.

Tip 2: Getting Outside
There are so many benefits to spending time outdoors, even in small amounts. Natural light supports mood regulation, and crisp, fresh air can be invigorating to the sensory system. While outdoor exercise is helpful, even sitting outside with a cup of coffee in the morning can make a positive difference.

Tip 3: Optimizing Vitamin D
It’s very common to see lower Vitamin D levels in the winter, as we are spending more time indoors and have reduced exposure to sunshine and Vitamin D producing rays. Lower vitamin D levels are associated with changes in mood and energy. Consider asking your health-care provider to check your vitamin D level to see if  supplementation is appropriate for you, especially during darker months.

Tip 4: Mindful Movement
Winter is a great time to focus on gentler, more restorative movement. Stretching by a window, a short yoga flow, tai chi, or a mindful walk can boost circulation, shift mood, and interrupt negative thought loops without overwhelming the nervous system. Aim for consistency over intensity. Even 10-15 minutes of gentle, intentional movement a few days a week can help you stay connected to your body and grounded through the season.

Tip 5: Creative Expression & and Weekly Check-In 
Winter is a natural time for reflection. Journaling, sketching, and creating voice notes can help externalize emotions and prevent unhelpful thought loops. Consider a weekly check-in, asking: What felt light? What felt heavy? What’s one small thing I can lean into next week? Approach whatever arises with curiosity and kindness. Awareness, not perfection, is the goal.

This year, we can see the shift to winter as a gentle invitation to self-care. You don’t have to “beat” winter. You just need to move through it with awareness and compassion. The longer nights invite slowing down, but they don’t mean you’re stuck. You’re simply transitioning, and you can care for yourself through that transition. May this season be one of honoring your rhythm and supporting your body and mind in small, meaningful ways.

As we gather for Thanksgiving, we look forward to savoring favorite recipes and delicious food, including the tryptophan-rich turkey often associated with boosting our mood. But did you know that the tradition of reflecting on what we are grateful for is even more powerful? Gratitude isn’t only a feel-good practice; it literally reshapes the brain.

When we intentionally pause to notice what we’re thankful for, we activate the prefrontal cortex, which is the region of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, decision-making, and connection. Gratitude also quiets the amygdala, the brain’s built-in alarm system, reducing anxiety and gently shifting us out of fight-or-flight. Over time, practicing gratitude strengthens neural pathways linked to calm, focus, and resilience. It even boosts dopamine and serotonin, the neurotransmitters associated with happiness, motivation, and overall well-being. So this year, as you’re going around the table and naming what you’re grateful for, you can smile knowing your brain is soaking up the benefits.

As a clinical mental health counselor, I see many people who have depressive symptoms: lack of interest and motivation, little energy, low self-esteem. And although I’m fortunate not to have had depression in my lifetime, I do know most of us, including myself, typically experience the symptoms at some point.

Mine came in late 2015. I was in a relationship with Terrie, who I wound up marrying the next year, but my work life was a mess. I had a boss who wanted me gone and was doing everything in her power to make that happen. I knew that her criticisms and nit-picking of my work were, at best, vastly exaggerated. But I felt powerless.

Terrie was the person who opened my eyes about my depressive symptoms.

One day, she told me how she hated Sunday afternoons. I thought it was pointing to the end of the weekend and our time together. “No,” she told me. “I hate it because your whole mood changes.”

When I questioned her, she said by early afternoon on Sundays, it was as if a dark cloud had descended on me. I became withdrawn and guarded.

Her words were a revelation. I realized how much the situation at work was affecting other parts of my life—the important parts, at that, like my relationship with Terrie. Something had to change.

Which brings up why depression can feel so difficult. Depression is not always as obvious as its counterpart, anxiety. With anxiety, you can literally feel signals within your body such as tightness in the chest or gut, nausea, headaches. Depression can be more subtle. Yet there are ways to address it.

First, it’s important to speak with your physician or a psychiatrist. In the past 30 years, many new medicines have come on the market that can be game-changers for people with chronic depression or even just depressive symptoms. Yes, medical solutions often require patience and tweaks in dosage or prescription until they do the job. And yes, many have side effects that can outweigh the benefits. But this is a valid and frequent first step toward easing depressive symptoms.

Second, talk therapy can be an important way to explore the negative things happening in your life. A therapist is an empathetic, non-advice-giver who can listen and perhaps open your mind to solutions that the depressive symptoms may be preventing you from accessing.

Many research studies have shown that a combination of medication and talk therapy provides the best chance of reducing the cyclical nature of depression.

Back in 2015, my therapist gave me the space to simply talk about my unhappiness in my job and my then career in communications and marketing. Those sessions got me to thinking about what I really wanted to do with the rest of my working life, and that’s how I wound up in the same career as him. He never said a word suggesting it. I had to discover based on my own reflections that counseling was the right career for me. Once I made the decision, my therapist was an enthusiastic supporter.

He remains my therapist all these years later.

Many of us feel alone. We feel as though we are not known and not deeply loved by those around us. As a counselor, I see many people feeling intense anxiety and depression, feeling trapped and unable to make a move in any direction. I see people who have experienced trauma and then do not have the support to pick up the pieces. This experience can lead to developing painful relationships and even violence. I hear this pain in the lyrics of music and I see it played out in stories in books, television, and movies.

Friendship is important. It adds joy and depth to life. But how do you form a deep connection? How do you develop trust yet maintain boundaries? How do you stop feeling so alone?

For me, I have to find the ability to be open to trust. This starts by connecting with the belief that we are all in this together, struggling to figure out life. Once I connect with this belief, I have to connect with the understanding that I can move slowly, at my own pace. It is okay to take time to get to know people, and to get to know yourself in relation to them.

If I am in a space where I feel that “we” (people in general) are on the same side, gradually I will be ready to be somewhat vulnerable with someone. Not everyone. I pay attention to cues: are they humble? Do we seem to have similar values? Then I proceed with vulnerability.

How does a person “be vulnerable?”

I start with being deeply present to the other person. I let myself get caught up in what they are saying, rather than preparing my next statement. This may mean there could be silence, and that is okay. (It takes practice to become more comfortable with silence). Then I share my thoughts or feelings. I may disagree with them. I may agree. I may offer an experience of my own. I may ask curious questions. I try to listen with a stance of curiosity rather than from a stance of judgement or defense, waiting to catch them being wrong or trying to hurt me. I allow my heart to feel a connection.

I have often been surprised that a conversation may go to a deep place quickly. But a connection from vulnerability is not the same as “defended exposure.” Defended exposure means “I will tell you something from my life that seems vulnerable, but is really from a cognitive, rather than feeling, place.” To connect, allow feelings to come forward. Speak from feeling rather than from logic and intellect only.

What does friendship feel like? Energizing and uplifting, yet calming at the same time. A friend may challenge you, but it is not demeaning or cruel.

Friendship–connection–brings richness to life. It can be scary to allow connection and it is worth it.
​
What do you think? How have you made your strongest connections? Also, what stops you from connections sometimes?