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How To Encourage Your Child

8/24/2020

1 Comment

 
I recently came across this article about motivating children who lack motivation. One of the points the author describes made me pause. She asks the parent what motivates their child? What does he really want? What questions can I ask that will help him discover and explore his interests? What are his goals and ambitions?

Encouraging children requires you as a parent to step far enough away to see your child as a separate person. With all our good intentions, it is easy to become wrapped up in the stress of every day life and forget our children are not mini-me's, but are separate people with different preferences, different ways of thinking, feeling, and doing things. 

For a child to feel motivated they must first feel seen. They must feel that their voice matters. That their parent takes the time to really listen-- not to what you want the answers to be, but to what your child is really saying. And if the answers happen to not line up with who you are, respect them, even if you disagree.

I read this "66 Positive Things To Say To Your Child" post today, and wrote down the ones I regularly say to my children, and the things I'm going to try. to say more often. It was a good reminder to see my children as their own separate selves that I must continue to learn and understand as they grow.

Encouraging things I say often:
#2: You make me proud.
#6: You don't have to be perfect to be great.
#17: You were right. (Especially if I had previously told them they were not!)
#37: I trust you.
#38: That was a really good choice.
#63: I love you.

Here's what I'm going to try to say more of:
#19: We can try it your way.
#34: I admire you.
#44: Thank you for being you.
#60: I'm listening.
#65: You are enough.

What are some things you say now vs. what you'd like to say more of to encourage your child and help them be the beautiful little people that they are?

Warmly,
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1 Comment
Moni link
3/28/2021 11:07:58 am

Hii great reading your blog

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  • Home
  • Book Appointment
  • About Us
    • About Us
    • Our Story
    • Mission & Values
    • YouTube Channel
    • Blog
    • Crisis Resources
    • JEDI Philosophy
  • Services
    • Services
    • Psychiatry | Medication Management
    • ADHD
    • Autism Assessments >
      • Book ADOS-2 Assessment
    • Coaching
    • Couples >
      • Angel Joel, LCMHCA - Couples Therapist & UNCG PhD Candidate | Winston-Salem, NC
      • Lisa Carpenter, LMFT, Couples & Relationship Therapist
      • Jared Brinkerhoff, LCMHC, Couples & Relationship Therapist
      • Jennifer Cui, LCSW, Couples & Relationship Therapist
      • Discernment Counseling
    • Discernment Counseling
    • Educational Consulting | Special Needs Advocacy >
      • Jordan Peterson, MEd, MA, LCMHCA - Educational Consultant & Advocate
    • Exposure & Response Prevention for OCD
    • Groups & Webinars
    • Nutrition
    • Parenting + Family Therapy
    • Play Therapy for Children
    • Separation Counseling + Collaborative Parenting
    • Telehealth
    • Therapy for Teachers
    • Trauma
  • Meet Our Team
    • Meet the Whole Team!
    • Abby Olmstead
    • Adrienne Fisher
    • Alexa Brenner DeConne
    • Alexandra Fuentes-Whitman
    • Amber Miner
    • Andrea Miles
    • Angel Joel
    • Autumn Martin
    • Brittany Proxmire
    • Britt Stewart
    • Bru Ramirez >
      • Bru Ramirez, Psicoterapeuta Licenciada
    • Christine Ridley
    • Emily Ortiz Badalamente
    • Emily Rodgers
    • Gail Herbert
    • Hayley McCraw
    • Jared Brinkerhoff
    • Jennifer Cui
    • Leslie "Les" Gura
    • Lisa Carpenter
    • Maggie Latta-Milord
    • Miriam Dineen, Psychiatric Practitioner
    • Sarah Vanderpool
    • Savannah Ornt
    • Simone Banks
    • Tess Job
    • Tiffany Woods
    • Yubi Aranda Sandoval
    • Administrative Staff >
      • Christal Stewart, Billing Administrator
      • Emu Aragon, Administrative Support
      • Emilia Lipnicki, Intake Coordinator
      • Jamee Nunnery, Administrative Support
    • Leadership Team >
      • Jamie Cullen
      • Chantal D. Hayes
      • Jordan Peterson
      • Graham Hayes
  • Fees & Insurance
    • Fees + Insurance
    • Pay My Bill
  • Hiring
    • Hiring Therapist
    • Hiring Psychologist
    • Hiring PMHNP/PA
  • Client Portal